What's In My Bag: March 28, 2011

The bags I carry, which don't change very often, are usually pretty big, and always full of stuff. This isn't because I'm a soccer mom who lives out of her giant purse, or because I'm a high-maintenance twenty-something who absolutely has to have all her makeup products with her at all times.

It's more because I don't really like using my pockets, I tend to pick up a lot of stuff when I'm out, and I forget to empty my purse out until I'm walking into work, wondering why my purse weighs as much as a large baby.

A couple months ago my friend Kelsey made a video explaining everything she had in her purse. Apparently it's this thing going around Tumblr and various blogs, and I thought it was kind of cool, so I figured I'd do one too.

Because of my weird tendency to pick up random stuff while I'm out and just throw it into my purse and forget about it, the contents of my purse are sort of an ever-changing cornucopia of spare change and assorted toys. Today, it looks like this:


That's a condensed version, since everything in my purse, plus my purse, wouldn't fit in the picture. Here is the unabridged version:

Circle 1:
- A tiny stuffed manatee
His name is Hugh Manatee. You can see why this is essential.
-A plush chlamydia microbe
David got this for me at Vault of Midnight, the coolest comic store ever. His name is Clammy. He is mostly for throwing at people and shouting "YOU JUST CAUGHT CHLAMYDIA!" Classy, I know.
-Mew
Also from David, and one of my favorite little things. Plus, who couldn't use a Pokemon in their purse?
-Squeezable stress Pokeball
I keep forgetting this is in there, and it's always a happy surprise to see it.

Circle 2:
-Assorted change
-A bunch of extra Nerf darts
Um. . . these are for my Nerf gun. Which was also in my purse, but I figured I should take it out. You know, for school and stuff.
-A litchi hard candy
Have you ever had one of these? OMG they're tasty.
-A silly pin that has a zombie saying "BRAINS!" on it, in the Obama pop-art style
-Trident citrus gum
-A little wooden d6

Circle 3:
-Pop-out hairbrush
What. I have a lot of hair.
-Novelty pen, shaped like a purple lipstick, covered with purple plastic jewels
Basically the best thing ever.
-Schoolcraft College flash drive
-A pen and two pencils

Circle 4:
-Blistex Lip Medex
If you have terribly chapped lips, this will fix them. I promise.
-Novelty candy hearts bracelet
-Dr. Pepper chapstick
Because everybody needs to just smell some Dr. Pepper now and again.
-Blistex chapstick in tropical citrus
I didn't realize I had so much chapstick. Geez.
-Hair mascara in blue, purple, and black
I think I've used these once, to give Stephanie a coontail in a Denny's. For the record, it looked awesome.
-iPod

Other things:
-Post-It notes in various colors
I have this thing about writing nice notes for people, whether I know them or not.
-Two light-up jewel stamps
The purple one is a chrysanthemum, and the pink one is a really silly pair of lips.
-Old license
-Nintendo DS charger
I'm not sure where my DS is, actually. I guess I know it's not in my purse now. . .
-Fat little notebook
I constantly have the need to write things down or draw stupid cartoons.
-Wallet
-Registration for my 2001 Saturn wagon, Randall
-Gap "So Pink!" perfume
I love this perfume. It smells like grapefruit!
-Makeup bag
-Burt's Bees hand salve
The only thing that gets rid of the awful heat rashes I get at work.
-Clip-in cat ears (black)
-Self-published comic book Jon got at Vault of Midnight and told me to read, that I forgot about

Wow. I really need to clean out my purse.

And just where is that Nerf gun? I'm definitely looking at three darts that someone shot at the TV, but where is the gun? Who am I going to throw Clammy at next? When am I going to use that hair mascara? These are questions that need answering. And seriously, everybody could use an awesome coontail.