'Tis the season. . .

also i just ate most of a bag of chocolate covered espresso beans
and it is 2:30 in the morning on christmas eve CHRISTMAS EVE
CHRISTMAS EVE
CHRISTMASEVECHRISTMASTEVECHRISTMASEVECHRISTMASEVERCHEIRJHSKJNMA NMTBABMASEVE

Dear Diary: Last night I had a dream about Frank Turner.

**DISCLAIMER***
Frank Turner, if by some miracle you end up reading this, this is not an accurate representation of me as a person. I am not going to John Lennon you. I promise. I will probably just end up tripping all over myself and being like "HURRDURRSIGNMYTATTOOAGAINHURRDURR" and you'll give me a weird face and that will be the end of that.



This is just a silly little update. I think I'll start doing these "Dear Diary" things when I haven't updated in a while. They're fun!

*edit: I just realized that some of you might not know who Frank Turner is. If you are one of these unfortunate souls, then you should probably check him out. He's pretty awesome.

I've figured out what I'm doing with the rest of my life.

My German teacher (whose name is Dr. Suess, by the way) is actually from Switzerland. She's tiny and blond and very fashionable, and has a lilting Swiss accent that makes learning German way more fun.

Today she showed us a PowerPoint slideshow that she'd made, highlighting everything that is awesome about Switzerland.

Did you know that Switzerland is one of the richest countries in the world? And that they have an insanely large army, because they have mandatory military training for every man from twenty to thirty-six? And everyone has guns, and mandatory shooting practice, that the military pays for? In the event of an alert, the entire country would be fully mobilized within 12 hours.

Also, there are MANDATORY SKI TRIPS FOR SCHOOLCHILDREN! You are taught how to ski for school credit. Do you have any idea how awesome that is?

And there are ENTIRE AISLES in EVERY SWISS GROCERY STORE that are JUST FULL OF CHOCOLATE. And every Swiss family has an oven, JUST FOR TOASTING CHEESE.

Don't believe me? BOOM. I just dropped science. MAGICAL CHEESE-MELTING OVENS. IN EVERY HOME.

I'm moving to Switzerland, effective immediately. If you need to reach me, I will be firing money out of a machine gun while rappelling down the Alps on skis made of chocolate with my MANDATORY CHEESE OVEN.